President Bush gives his opening speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner, but it is quickly taken over by the hilarious First Lady.

UPDATE: You can also grab the video here, thanks to the kind folks at The Smoke Filled Room

VIDEO IN EXTENDED ENTRY

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Treasury ducklings hatch

The ‘media service’ that has caused a storm outside of the Treasury Building – is now over.

WASHINGTON A weekend ahead of Mother’s Day, the duck outside the U-S Treasury Building in Washington D-C has become a mom.

Well since she already laid the eggs – wasn’t she a mom before?

A federal security detail has been watching over the mallard since she unexpectedly made a nest there this spring—just a block away from the White House. Treasury workers have given the duck various names, including “T-Bill” and “Duck Cheney.”

The ducklings began hatching this afternoon, though there’s not much for curious tourists to see. A Treasury spokesman says the hen is sitting over the baby ducks to shield them from the cold, wet Washington weather.

After the duck and ducklings get a good night’s rest, they’re all expected to be moved to a nearby park and set free.

Snow Phallus

Here I thought it would be a while until the “burrito being confused as a weapon” is topped… I was wrong:

LARAMIE, Wyo. Apr 30, 2005 — Two men have pleaded not guilty to promoting obscenity for allegedly building a snow phallus in their front yard.

Brandon Arp, 20, and Aric Davenport, 19, were arraigned Friday in circuit court.

Police say Arp and Davenport built the sculpture April 21. Neighbors found the sculpture offensive and, although someone destroyed it, the two were cited.

Davenport’s attorney, Michael Vang, said it’s not clear how the sculpture was obscene. He accused police of selective enforcement.

Willie Nelson Turns 72, Denied Portion of Highway Named After Him

Happy Birthday Willie. Say Anything gives him a nice present.

But what some of you may not know …

A state legislator had proposed naming a 49-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 being built around Austin in honor of the Texas country music singer.

But two Republican senators, Steve Odgen of Bryan and Jeff Wentworth of San Antonio, said they didn’t want Nelson’s name on the road that crosses their districts, citing the musician’s fondness for drinking and smoking, and active campaigning for Democratic candidates.

“It’s frustrating, and sad in a way, but at this point, there is no reason to make this an unpleasant experience for anyone, especially Willie, so I’ll take no further action on the bill,” said state Sen. Gonzalo Barrientos, an Austin Democrat and the bill’s author.

I don’t see what the hell is the problem here. Who cares about his politics and what he believes in, he is freaking Willie Nelson for crying out loud. Hopefully some of my detractors will now see I am not some uber neo con, defending everything that Republicans believe in.

Atleast 1500 Bodies Found At Mass Grave in Iraq

NEAR SAMAWA, Iraq (Reuters) – Investigators have uncovered a mass grave in southern Iraq containing as many as 1,500 bodies, most of them thought to be Kurds forcibly removed from their homes in the late 1980s.

The site, near the town of Samawa, about 180 miles south of Baghdad, consists of 18 shallow trenches dug by earth-moving vehicles into hard limestone rock.

Most of the victims were women and children who were apparently lined up in front of the pits and shot with AK-47 assault rifles, according to a U.S. investigator.

Around 110 bodies have been excavated from the site so far, nearly two thirds of them children and teenagers.

TWO-THIRDS of the victims were kids, sickos.

Two women open fire on bus in Cairo

What is going on in Cairo today? Here is more news on the other attack ..

CAIRO, Egypt—Two veiled women opened fire on a tour bus in a historic part of the Egyptian capital Saturday and one of them was killed in a gunbattle with security guards, authorities said.

***

Less than two hours later, two veiled women opened fire at a tour bus in the Sayeda Aisha part of old Cairo, an area rich with historic mosques and cemeteries.

Three people, including one woman, were injured and at least one of the attackers was killed, Egyptian Health Minister Mohammed Awad Tag Eddin told reporters. The minister said it was not known if the injured woman was the second shooter.

Police, who had initially reported the second incident as an explosion, said both women had been killed by security forces in the area. The differing accounts could not be reconciled.

(via The Moderate Voice)

This has to be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a while:

Witty Gandelman adds, “A burrito becomes a weapon after you eat it.”

The Nose On Your Face linked with Top Referrers 4/23/05 - 4/30/05

You hear about bombings in Egypt once in a while, but each time becomes more serious. Could Egypt be the next hot spot for suicide bombings?

CAIRO (Reuters) – A bomb killed an Egyptian man and injured three Egyptians and four foreign tourists near Egypt’s most popular museum in central Cairo on Saturday, security sources said.

The injured foreigners were two Israelis, an Italian woman and a man who was either Swedish or Russian, the sources added.

The sources initially identified the dead man as the bomber but they said later that someone might have thrown a bomb from a nearby bridge over the Nile.

UPDATE: Another bomb went off:

CAIRO, Egypt – A bomb was thrown from a bridge to the street below not far from the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, killing an Arab man and injuring four foreigners, police said. A second explosion hit the capital less than two hours later.

Wow, this woman scared her family to death and probably caused some suspiciousness if the husband did it … but it’s OKAY, she had cold feet!

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. – A Georgia bride-to-be who vanished just days before her wedding turned up in New Mexico and fabricated a tale of abduction before admitting Saturday that she had gotten cold feet and “needed some time alone,” police said.

Jennifer Wilbanks, 32, was in police custody more than 1,420 miles from her home on what was supposed to be her wedding day.

“It turns out that Miss Wilbanks basically felt the pressure of this large wedding and could not handle it,” said Randy Belcher, the police chief in Duluth, Ga., the Atlanta suburb where Wilbanks lives with her fiance. He said there would be no criminal charges.

Wilbanks, whose disappearance set off a nationwide hunt, called her fiance, John Mason, from a pay phone late Friday and told him that she had been kidnapped while jogging three days before, authorities said. Her family rejoiced that she was safe, telling reporters that the media coverage apparently got to the kidnappers.

But Wilbanks soon recanted, according to police.

Ray Schultz, chief of police in Albuquerque, said Wilbanks “had become scared and concerned about her impending marriage and decided she needed some time alone.” He said she traveled to Las Vegas by bus before going to Albuquerque.

“She’s obviously very concerned about the stress that she’s been through, the stress that’s been placed on her family,” he said. “She is very upset.”

Did they have a TV where she was hiding?

Internet star Matt Drudge makes his [rare] annual appearence on C-SPAN earlier today. If you are interested in finding out how Matt does it, this is the interview for you.

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